A Fiery Mexican, a Drunk Belgian & Nude Australian run into this pub see...

My life turned into a working men's club comedians bad joke last night. Circa '76.

It all started with Margarita's and Mexican for dinner...after receiving heartburn similar to the Volcano El Chichon erupting [I forgot about my lack of tolerance to Tequila's & chilli's combined with the lava flows of cheese] I left Andy at home to meet with a B & D at the Belgian Beer Garden.

Now usually the Belgian Beer Garden is a very smart sunday afternoon affair where groomed Melbournians enjoy jazz and European Beer in a setting of a beautiful Bluestone Historical building and it's charming gardens. Lovely.

Not on A Saturday Night though. Apparently not as fussy with it's clientele admissions.
Granted I was a bit sober [too many Antacids to keep the Alamo of a digestion occuring in my stomach] and I walked into, what I can only describe as, the Belgian Beer Garden putsch of 2008.

B & I met a charming fellow at the bar called 'Jacko' and his insightful view of the crowd 'all these fuckers are stuck up here' unlike his local pub [unnamed but I have a sneaking suspicion it appeared in the TV show 'Underbelly'], gave B his address just in case 'you leave your hubby sexy' [what a charmer - who could resist!] and proceeded to order 14 Bourbon & cokes for himself [or as N likes to call them 'suburban & cokes'].

Well our new mate disappears into the chaos and we managed to settle in for evening. I'm trying to calm my indigestion with a glass of Sauvigon Blanc finding that Mexican and French do not mix well [will pop a note through to the Epicure in The Age with that pearl of wisdom]. However about an hour later Jacko appears from one of the hedges, completely starkers [the suburban & cokes kicking in] and does a nudie run through the venue and out to St Kilda Road, with his finale being a helicopter and then British Bull dog [see Puppetry of Penis] for the maddening crowd.

The thing is that Jacko kept his [sort of] big gun for last [no excuses for the pun] and the only thing to top it was - well nothing really. Leaving is an excellent encore in that situation as opposed to getting arrested which is the alternative. I am actually surprised that the crowd didn't really care about it and continued drinking. B & I thought I was very funny. Bless Jacko for making our night.

D was found later on quite drunk kissing one of his work mates however for those who don't live in Australia that isn't a new thing for Heterosexual Australian men when they are drunk. Usually before a nudie run and well prior to fisty cuffs.

I managed to get home by 1am and was completely sober.
Pants on I would like to say too.