Movie Review:2012 [What a disaster]

Now before I launch into a one woman show about the state of films in 2009 and Hollywood and unoriginality – I want express my love – love love love for disaster films. My first disaster film was Towering Inferno – the mega skyscraper in the skyline of San Francisco that bursts into flames – a stellar cast of actual somebody’s – Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, William Holden, Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire, Richard Chamberlain to name but a few – I remembering watching it on TV in the early 80’s and loved it [I was also pleased that it was made in the year of my birth but I digress]. Likewise the Poseidon Adventure – that giant boat hit by the tidal wave - you can’t forget Shelley Winters performance and her swimming medal or the fact that the tables stuck on the ceiling – and Airport with the glamorous soap opera styling that lead to a string of sequels [I will try to forget about Karen Black landing the plane in a later sequel].

In recent years they have remade Poseidon [which was not a copy rather a good film in its own right] and [thankfully] also revamped the genre to suit audiences tastes – look at Cloverfield – Godzilla with Blair Witch styling’s and a good storyline. Or Titanic – the love story where the boat sinks [minus the fact that a woman of breeding would never flip the bird but that’s James Cameron for you] Now with CGI the disasters actually look real – and that much more scary because they do look believable.

But [back to the rant] for every Poseidon or Inferno – there is an Earthquake [please they just shook the camera and pushed over Ava Gardner] and Independence Day [the least I say about that waste of time, film and my life seeing that the better]. And unfortunately 2012 is not so much the ship hitting the iceberg – it’s really the giant moth of 1960’s Japanese disaster film Mosura laying the giant egg of a celluloid stinker in your local theatre.

So your basic premise of any disaster the film is the actual disaster and the effects – generally the best of that year of the film release [Even I have to admit Inferno is now dated and clearly a lego model - but at the time totally believable ]. Now I must admit that 2012 effects are extraordinary. LA plunging into the sea, tidal waves the size of Mt Everest, earthquakes to swallow Las Vegas and a Volcano to rival the destruction of Pompeii – well that is worth seeing on the big screen for – hands down.

But with any movie it’s also about the story - essentially the story of survival for disaster films. Now you need to choose your stars and their characters wisely as you want them to survive and you want to cheer when they do. 2012 - I couldn’t care less if all of the characters were swallowed up by the sea and you just watched more destruction of the Earth due to the alignment of planets [as predicted by the Mayan’s – that’s the premise]. Poor script, poor characters and poor choice of stars. Hands down.

I hope the next blockbuster disaster film won’t be so [insert own cliche here] If you go – go on a 2 for 1 deal or similar and only go for the effects.

2 natural disasters out of 5 [again only for the CGI].

Movie review: Project 9

Now I have been told that I get things mixed up...occasionally. I once got Margo Kidder mixed up with Stockhard Channing with a character ‘Margo Channing’ – played by Bette Davis in All about Eve. Just recently I have been calling HBO The wire – Wired. And I thought singer Kate Perry was also actress Zooey Deschanel [ yes who? Fooey the Chanel?] Hence why I mixed them up.

And so when I got the new disaster flick 2012 mixed up with Project 9 this was no surprise to Andrew. We sat there in the cinema and it dawned upon me [ this after booking & purchase of the tickets as well as the buckets of popcorn the size of our bodies] that yet again I mixed the movies up after the trailer of 2012 came on prior to the film.

Set in current day Johannesburg South Africa, an alien spacecraft has been suspended in the air for the last 20 years packed full of aliens refugees. But don’t think this is a purely sci fi film. Its starts in the documentary hand held way to introduce the main characters – but this is not a mock-u-mentry. It’s also funny but this isn’t a comedy. Basically the government of the day is planning to move the alien precinct to 250Km outside of Joburg. The parallels to the world’s treatment of foreign or [alien] refugees in a post 911 world are quite obvious. But this is a not a social commentary film either. This mixed up film of genres makes you wonder what is going to happen or occur in the film – or what this film is really about.

Peter Jackson is the producer and his early films [before the Rings] were always very quirky and off the wall – look at ‘Meet the Feebles’’ & ‘Braindead’- funny yet dark and grim. But instead of the films just becoming being a gore or shock film, there is always as strong story line, and this is also apparent in 9.

Without telling more of the story or ruining the film, there is something going on with the aliens...and something much darker going on with the ominous military group of why they want the aliens to move. The main character is really the anti hero – and initially quite annoying. No big stars in this and thankfully so - you concentrate on the characters and story rather than the name.

There are some violent scenes in the film, but don’t be put off. The chase scenes will get your heart racing [the sci fi geek next to me was jumping around his seat and cheering when the 'badies' get shot but don’t be put off from seeing this film as that’s the crowd you get at the Victoria Gardens at the early session Saturday night – I digress] and the aliens are very realistic looking – not the wobbly plastic circa 1976 Doctor Who/Blake 7 type at all. I was also genuinely convinced of all of the South African accents - not like Meryl in Out of Africa – all mixed up in a wrong way. This film is all mixed up in the right way. And my dears there is nothing wrong about that.

4 shaken not stirred UFO’s out of 5.

Movie Review: Dreamgirls

It finally premiered in OZ!

So for those who don't know...Dreamgirls was a hit Broadway show in the late 70's and early 80's...loosely based on the Supremes and Motown Records, it's the rags to riches tale of an all girl black singing trio...

Now I'll tell ya RIGHT now...if you don't like the sounds of Motown, Broadway shows or just plain singing...don't go - its not for you...Saying that if you do like the aforementioned...OMG you are going to so love this film.

Now don't expect a musical-come-film like 'Chicago' or theatre-show-musical like 'Moulin Rouge'...as stated this film is really like watching a Broadway show in many ways...the sets, costume and make up are colourful and perfect for time frame the film is set (early 1960's until the late 70's) if not a little camp at times (Yes that's coming me moi - for example in one scene did they really need to have a fake Jackson 5 for instance??? Or butterfly eye make up for Beyonce??? Or Beyonce as Cleopatra - actually that was quite fabulous that scene.)

However the performances of it's cast is quite amazing. Eddie Murphy as the falling star, Jamie Fox as the heartless manager... Yes Beyonce is fantastic...she gives a great 'Deena Jones' (I should I say Miss Ross...believe me when you see 'We're your Dream girls' number) to Miss Jennifer Hudson's Effie White...and yes the reports are true - Jen so deserved the Golden Globe...hopefully the Oscar too as she is the picture...wait until you see the scene with 'And I'm telling you...' it's up there with ' When the Parade Goes by' (Hello Dolly) 'Rain on my Parade' (Funny Girl) The Closing Yentl Medley (Yentl) for best moment in a musical ...( NO jez - 'Love with all the trimmings' is not in the catergory though Barbra is) - Jennifer is a star...

If you are up for a great Broadway number...actually quite a few...settle in and you will be entertained for the (almost) 2 hours of showbiz. It's also interesting to note that I haven't seen that many queens in the audience since the Tony Awards.

4 Diva's out of five.

Movie Review: Casino Royale

Bond is back...with more action, more sophistication and he's sexier than ever...

I did love Pierce Brosnan as Bond...however he was more the traditional Bond like Roger Moore & Sean Connery. Daniel Craig plays the role with guts and rough and tumble...and lots of sexiness thrown in (ok so I'm a bit biased...actually after seeing the film no I'm not - he's hot.)

The new take on the first 007 novel by Ian Fleming I think is fantastic...This was the only novel to be rejected (originally) by the Studio & Producers (hence why the title got to be used for the spy spoof in the late 60's). They have managed to update the storyline to involve terrorism rather than ghosts of the cold war past. This film doesn't treat Bond like it has done in previous movies, rather it introduces this Bond as recently promoted to '00' Status...


Eva Green & Caterina Murino (above) are the babes - ultra glamorous and (also) ultra beautiful...Dame Jude returns as M (all hail Dame Jude)...and introducing Jeffrey Wright as Bond's CIA contact Felix Leiter...locations include the Bahamas, Montenegro & Venice...yes there are the one liners...but this time they are funny and clever (rather than the cringe factor).

I won't spoil anything else...Just to say there is more action and sexiness in this film than my strawberry choc-top and $13.50 ticket would allow...

4 and a half shaken Martinis out of five (PS - who stirs a bloody nmartini anyway?).

Movie Review: The devil wears Prada ( and we love her for it)

Wow...I thought 'Dream girls' was going to be the film Du Jour of 2006 ( probably still will be be after it's release...oh and the new Bond 'Casino Royale') AHEM but in the meantime I would like to introduce 'The Devil wears Prada'...

Based on the book of the same name, which was loosely based on Anna 'Nuclear' Wintour, editor-in-chief of American 'Vogue' (this fact could be debatable likewise the success of last seasons Jimmy Choo slingbacks) - A young bright journalism graduate (Anne 'That Girl' Hathaway) is looking for a job to start her on her way in NYC...and gets one as a personal assistant('the job a million girls would kill for' quote) to editor-in-chief Miranda Priestly (Meryl 'is there a role this woman can't play 'Streep) at 'Runway' fashion magazine...
And as the title suggests this new image of the devil has impeccable taste and also unbelievable power...regardless of the cool exterior of this well-heeled-fashionista-empress, pure evil is delivered to her subordinates in such a way that one would rather die being choked to death in a Vivienne Westwood Corset than submit failure in her presence..or is that just me?

This is a real snapshot of the influence that some people can wield in their chosen field...obviously characters and plot enhanced for your viewing pleasure...but still a great tale of girl working for the boss from hell...(no pun intended - honestly)

What I love most about this film is that it has all the right elements...great cast - Meryl & Anne are brilliantly cast as well as Stanley Tucci, Emily Blunt and Simon Baker in supporting roles), the drop dead style of the flick and unbelievable fashion that would even make Diana Vreeland sit up and take notice...or is that just me too?

(Right - more like a scene from Macbeth maybe?)

This film won't change your life but for a few hours of entertainment it's so worth the watch.

PS - wear something fabulous to the cinema otherwise you'll feel like Bjork in that Swan frock from the Oscars a few years back after seeing those clothes on the big screen.

4 choc tops out of 5.

Movie Review: 'Superman Returns'...

...(where from..the shops?)

Well saw this flick with some friends on friday night at the Jam Factory..yes he is very hot dear Brandon Routh...(and what he does to the Supersuit is no ones business)...but LONG LONG movie - what is with the Studio approving a 2 and a half hour pic which should have been reduced EASILY to 2 hours or less!!!

And the crazy thing was there was no lead up to him becoming superman - just that he was missing for 5 years...HATED the embellished love story with Lois Lane which seemed to dominate the film - forgive me for being so bold Miss Babs - but he's a Action Super Hero from Krypton - not Romeo from fair Verona...After 'Batman Begins' which completely changed the 'Super Hero' film genre I thought we could expect the same from Superman but alas no...

However not all negative as there was some great acting from all involved - Old Hollywood Star 'Eva Marie Saint' (remember Hitchcock's 'North by Northwest') plays Supermans Mother...Kevin Spacey ('The usual suspects'...& the list is numerous) as Lex Luther, Parker Posey - one of my all time favourite Actors (Best in Show, Wating for Guffman etc) - plays Lex's mole 'Kitty' but doesn't steal the scene like she normally does...and even Ian 'the only gay in the village rugby team' Roberts plays a cameo one of Lex's henchmen - thank god he only has the one line as we wouldn't want to strain his vocal cords...

Overall - only 2 choc Tops out of five - one for Brandon and one for the effects - re: ocean scenes - So wait for the DVD...