Big Trip from 2005 - Thailand forever...Part 7

So the holiday was drawing to a close...the final leg was Phuket for 10 days...after running around Museums, tourist sights, churches, ancient ruins for 3 weeks...it was all going to be about taking it easy and slow














...The view from the hotel room balcony to the hills to the left...














And to the right...the beach...













...the pool is fantastic...like about the size of a hockey field...
So too the cocktail bar...a nice pic of Damo, Odie and Andy, and Montree behind the bar, after 2 days he pretty much knew all our drinks orders

Andy & I....yes and the infamous bruise on my pasty white 'just arrived in the tropics' skin

Andrew,Tony, Bek & Jez...all looking brown (bastards)

Everyone at dinner - we found this place a few doors down from the hotel - not only dirt cheap but some of the best Thai food I have ever eaten!

So one night after many drinks we decide to create 'Karaoke Idol' - Tony began with a rather wonderful rendition of 'Jambalaya' by the carpenters...a toe tappin' thigh slappin' experience loved by all ...Onya Tonza

Damo preferred a crooners number whilst seated with a beer...

Can't remember what Odie was singing but I love this pic of her anyway...

Ok so here's an idea that should have never happened...Allan, Tony Andy & myself sing Spice girls 'Wanna Be' which at the time seemed to the the greatest idea since track lighting...what it turned out to be was...to quote Jeremy..The worst thing he ever saw...in his life...but couldn't stop watching due to it's total utter dreadfulness...

Our new mates Stephanie & Tuk from 'Gramma Bar'

One night at Gramma Bar - A Hawaiian theme bar in the middle of a carpark in Phuket...Go there to sign your names with the rest of the gang on the roof of the hut - get a pink drink laden with enough booze to fire a rocket into space in a tittie glass (no less) and Tuk will do a show at the bar with a straw in her ear aka the Thai Madonna...beats the shit out of working.

Movie Review: The devil wears Prada ( and we love her for it)

Wow...I thought 'Dream girls' was going to be the film Du Jour of 2006 ( probably still will be be after it's release...oh and the new Bond 'Casino Royale') AHEM but in the meantime I would like to introduce 'The Devil wears Prada'...

Based on the book of the same name, which was loosely based on Anna 'Nuclear' Wintour, editor-in-chief of American 'Vogue' (this fact could be debatable likewise the success of last seasons Jimmy Choo slingbacks) - A young bright journalism graduate (Anne 'That Girl' Hathaway) is looking for a job to start her on her way in NYC...and gets one as a personal assistant('the job a million girls would kill for' quote) to editor-in-chief Miranda Priestly (Meryl 'is there a role this woman can't play 'Streep) at 'Runway' fashion magazine...
And as the title suggests this new image of the devil has impeccable taste and also unbelievable power...regardless of the cool exterior of this well-heeled-fashionista-empress, pure evil is delivered to her subordinates in such a way that one would rather die being choked to death in a Vivienne Westwood Corset than submit failure in her presence..or is that just me?

This is a real snapshot of the influence that some people can wield in their chosen field...obviously characters and plot enhanced for your viewing pleasure...but still a great tale of girl working for the boss from hell...(no pun intended - honestly)

What I love most about this film is that it has all the right elements...great cast - Meryl & Anne are brilliantly cast as well as Stanley Tucci, Emily Blunt and Simon Baker in supporting roles), the drop dead style of the flick and unbelievable fashion that would even make Diana Vreeland sit up and take notice...or is that just me too?

(Right - more like a scene from Macbeth maybe?)

This film won't change your life but for a few hours of entertainment it's so worth the watch.

PS - wear something fabulous to the cinema otherwise you'll feel like Bjork in that Swan frock from the Oscars a few years back after seeing those clothes on the big screen.

4 choc tops out of 5.

Big Trip from 2005 - Viva Italy! Part 6 - Florence & Roma - LOST IN TRANSIT

Well I have no photos to post as my camera decided to die so I have only have actual photographs (Yes people still have those !) and as I dont have a scanner I can not load them!

Oh well...Well just quickly I had a wonderful time in both - Rome well not so much...

The next destination was Phuket to meet up with Andrew and some of our friends...other than the 24 hour flight over to London this journey was only slightly better...Let me explain...

- Leaving the Hotel at 1.30 on Thursday to catch the subway to Roma Termini

- then the 45 minute train ride to get to Aeroporto...then transit lounge until 5

- then a 3 hour flight to London...met up with Tony & Jez ( who had just returned from Russia & Ireland and joining on the Phuket leg) at yet another transit lounge...

- at 10pm UK time we caught a 12 or 16 hour flight to Bangkok....

- then 3 hours at another transit lounge at Bangkok Airport then a flight to Phuket...

- then a 1 hour coach ride to the hotel ....arriving at 9pm Friday night!!!!!

Needless everyone met us at the hotel...Andy and I went to the hotel room so I could give him all the gifts...then he gave me the best shag of the year (I got a bruise on my arm and still do not know how) then we all went to Tuk's Bar (our new friend) and got pissed.....

Big Trip from 2005 - Viva Italy! Part 5- Venice, Murano & Bologna

The Rialto Bridge..another landmark you don't realise you are on until you see the view of the Grand Canal...

A short ride over the lagoon from Venice is the Glass Mecca - Murano...

A spent most of a day there being an avid collector of glass, especially Murano glass...













As I took disposal cameras as well as the digital I have only these...which knowing me is probably a good thing...otherwise there would be glass for days


Bless the Italians...they certainly know how to do a chandelier...

After a few Days in Venice, Ronni and I said 'Ciao' - she was off to Sicily and I was off to visit the city of Bologna...known for three things..the 'learning'(of the University), the red (of its walls) and the fat(the fantastic food)...

Noel and Alberto met up with me from London and it was fun weekend...in a nut shell

- Get to Bologna...raining...Hotel room flooded so they put me in a serviced apartment...we wander around the city and visit some it's great cafe's and bars...We meet up with Mirko, a friend of the guys, he takes us to a Friends house for dinner...car breaks down as battery flat...Mirko's brother comes to our rescue then an hour drive to Modena for dinner... Dinner was ace and got very drunk...we drive back to a Bar in Bologna at 1am in the morning...Noel and I fall asleep in the back of the car...Wake up and go to Bar...drinking continues as the most odd gay bar ever I have been to in my life...leave bar at 4am and crash...wake up very hungover...go shopping and eat a fantastic lunch...then need to go to the toilet for over an hour...Say ciao to Noel & ALberto and catch train to Florence...Sun is shining...

Noel and I before the drunkiness...

A nice shot of Alberto and me trying to impersonate a lamp...I have a whole collection of me doing this...lamps, vases, flower arrangements and furniture...but that's not for here...

Big Trip from 2005 - Viva Italy! Part 4 - Venice!

So after the beauty of Paris..I caught the train to Venice...other than the water, and the city has been the same for hundreds of years...the fact that no cars are present enhances what was one of the most unique experiences of my life...

The Garden Gate at Peggy's House(I thought the B & W pics of her in the house and the history of the Pallazzo and of Ms Guggenheim was far more interesting that the art!)

Me on the Academia bridge - Trying to blend in as a local...not succeeding

Meet Ronni...we met at Italian Class (yes I did a crash course in Italiano! Not that I was any good mind you) and she so happened to be in Venice so we hung out and saw the sights together...that was another highlight of my time in Venice...

St Marco's Square at 8am

St Marco's Square at 1pm

Moral: Go early

What I loved about Venice was that time moves at a different pace...No cars present so that helps...the air is very clean because of this so the locals ( if you can find any remaining) say...Yes you pay 18 Euros for a Bellini at "Harry's Bar" and you need to sell your grandmother to eat and for your hotel room, but the experience of this amazing city on stilts has to be visted at least once in your life...

DVD Review - Shark Attack 3: Megalodon - The worst film ever made?

When 'jumping the shark' becomes 'eaten by the shark'...

It's 2006 right? This decade has been the age where film studio's have been so worried about making $ that the only thing they are doing are TV shows from the past or remakes of previous hits or sequels to films made years ago...they are worried about making $ rather than artistic appeal or trying the new...or newish...gone are the days when they waste money on films such as 'Grease 2' 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls' (more about those gems in another post) and the more recent 'Glitter' - films so bad they are fabulously bad that they become cult hits...or so I thought until my partner Andrew comes back from Blockbuster and presents 'Shark Attack 3: Megalodon' for Sunday afternoon viewing...

From the moment I saw stock footage of sharks (circa 1976 and this film was made in 2002) I thought the smell of film manure was in the air...the premise is a giantic shark (bigger than your average London double decker bus mind you)from over 25 million years ago is now circling waters off the coast of Mexico...and has decided to eat a multi-billion $ undersea telecommunications cable and the fine holiday makers of a nearby resort...and yes there are lost of shots of titties and bottoms from the resort for no reason other that they are there...

Well if that isn't bad enough...the acting(my 5 year old nephew would win an oscar for saying 'I did a poo' compared to these 'actors'), costume (all circa 1987 with a BANG) and dialogue is just as original as the plot...this film has basically ripped off scripts ideas/elements/characters from other shark attack films ('Jaws', 'Deep Blue')and given them a new 'edgy' twist by adding even more annoying features...

Meet Ben Carpender lifeguard and general jerk who first notices the shark... and the botox infused Soap Opera reject Cataline Stone (both pictured) - a scientist from the San Diego Museum of History(there is one?) who obviously got her qualifications from a wheeties box...throw in a rough retired seaman Chuck (no beard but a limp and a rusty voice) who knows all about 'lady ocean' and just to make sure the sterotypes are alive and well...the chairman of the Cable company board who gets eaten by the shark on a jet ski(again I'm not making this up...)

The editing was obviously done by a blind crack whore (actually that is an insult to blind crack whores and I apologise) and the continuity person obviously shot themselves to make their job easier...

For example Ben submits his email to identify the shark tooth, he titles the message "Mystery Shark". When Cat finds it, it's titled "Mistery Shark" (I'm not kidding)...

Or when Cat & Ben get in a helicopter with the door open there is no wind...(helicopter is of course on the ground) - this was then carried over to the boat as they speed away to catch the shark...but the boat is moored so the actors pretend they are speeding away - a bit like when the shark breaks into the boat and leaves a hole as big as the moon and yet the boat does not sink...hmmm clever non sinking boat - wish that was invented when the titanic was around...and yes reader these highlights only the tip of this crapola of an iceberg...

The dialogue in this wonderous celulloid would make Oscar Wilde implode...including the following gems...

Cataline Stone:[sigh] I'm exhausted.

Ben Carpenter: Yeah, me too. But you know I'm really wired. What do you say I (pause) take you home and eat your pussy. (hmm friends got killed by ancient shark ..can I munch on your hairy clam?)

AND

Chuck Rampart:Always carry a spare. It's the NAVY way!

(My father, uncle & cousin were all in the navy most of their working lives and many things they have said and no mention yet of spare rule and rekated to the NAVY way...not even the Village People have made reference to it)

AND when they find out its an megalodon from over 25 million years ago...
Ben Carpenter:Megalo-who? ....Or the memorable...

Cataline Stone:You're extinct, fucker! (this is coming from a scientist who studies extinct spiecies?

But I think the best thing is when this shark actually attacks...think bad effects and models with crayola drawings and a shark that growls like a bear...let alone the cocktail party on the boat when people are jumping off that boat that isn't sinking so to be eaten by a shark...

I won't spoil the sub plot(yes the budget allowed for that)as this is possibly the worst film involving the shark genre...at least when the Fonz from 'Happy Days' Jumped the shark he was wearing a leather jacket and said 'Aeeeeee!' two thumbs a blazin'...I can't even begin to tell you how much I laughed at this - do yourself a favor pay the 7 bucks for this DVD hire when you are depressed or thinking that your life is dull and shit..its not as this film is...

O out of five choctops for a film...However 4 and a half golden turds out of 5 for bad films ever...

Big Trip from 2005 - I love Paris...again (Part 3)

OK doll so Paris is beautiful and fab and glamorous etc etc etc...but seriously it so is...and although I thought the Eiffel tower would be just another 'tourist destination'(well it is)it is still an amazing structure...not just a fantastic view of the city...Oh and a tip for the thrifty travellers - you pay depending on which level you want to view from, platform 1 (don't bother too low)

Platform 3 WAY too

high- not much between you and land and death) or the usual destination Platform 2 where everyone goes and still feels quite safe...and yes you see everything from 2- so the 5 euros you save you can by a fabulous chocolate and banana crepe from the seller down below...that is almost as good as this monument to the machine age...french style of course - pefrect for any 'petit voyageur' !

Spunk Alert 10 - Julian McMahon

Julian McMahon is a big spunk...son of a former OZ Prime Minister and the fabulous Lady Sonia, previously married to Danni Minogue and linked to other known celeb's, this playboy and actor has had a colourful and privileged life...and has matinee idol looks and a great chest - and another one with that curse of the older he is becoming he is still hot!