The excess of it all

Jesus...since Christmas I have just eaten and drank my way through the last 3 days...surprisingly have not put on any weight...in fact lost a 1 kg! ( how is this possible after eating the amount of food I would consume in a week!!! - best not ask any questions and enjoy my white wine spritzer and another chocolate then...

The inside of the fridge is something you would see in an American sitcom from the '60's - we have not only half a turkey but half a ham, half a pudding, half a Xmas themed ice cream (v.delicious BTW) half a potato gratin in our fridge - all I need now is Andrew dressed like Darren and a drag queen mother in a pucci-print inspired kaftan and my 'Bewitched' fantasy will come a reality...

But Christmas isn't really the reality - Christmas is the day that all is grand and right in the world...The best food & wine & company, showered in gifts as it were...its only the days after that we have eaten too much, spent too much and are very very tired of it all...

And eating ham, turkey and pudding for the remainder of December...ah well another white wine spritzer anyone?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Have a great Christmas!
X b

HEATWAVE

Summer is obviously here...

Yesterday it was 35 degrees...and just woken up and still hot (and it's 5.45AM!!!)

I just checked the forecast and it's going to be over 30 again...with possible showers later...then a week of mild weather...thankgod...



Growing up in Perth I'm used to the long LONG hot summers...I do like the warm weather but with all the nasty uncontrollable fires we are having in rural Victoria, I hope the cooler weather ( & rainfall) will bring some relief...

The air has been so smoggy (due to fires) here in Melbourne - so bad our air quality the other day rated worse than polluted Cities in the developing world...



Please Santa - bring some rain this Christmas - we're in a drought and the CFA are almost spent!

X b

Melbourne Moment

Lunchtime at Degraves street

Movie Review: Casino Royale

Bond is back...with more action, more sophistication and he's sexier than ever...

I did love Pierce Brosnan as Bond...however he was more the traditional Bond like Roger Moore & Sean Connery. Daniel Craig plays the role with guts and rough and tumble...and lots of sexiness thrown in (ok so I'm a bit biased...actually after seeing the film no I'm not - he's hot.)

The new take on the first 007 novel by Ian Fleming I think is fantastic...This was the only novel to be rejected (originally) by the Studio & Producers (hence why the title got to be used for the spy spoof in the late 60's). They have managed to update the storyline to involve terrorism rather than ghosts of the cold war past. This film doesn't treat Bond like it has done in previous movies, rather it introduces this Bond as recently promoted to '00' Status...


Eva Green & Caterina Murino (above) are the babes - ultra glamorous and (also) ultra beautiful...Dame Jude returns as M (all hail Dame Jude)...and introducing Jeffrey Wright as Bond's CIA contact Felix Leiter...locations include the Bahamas, Montenegro & Venice...yes there are the one liners...but this time they are funny and clever (rather than the cringe factor).

I won't spoil anything else...Just to say there is more action and sexiness in this film than my strawberry choc-top and $13.50 ticket would allow...

4 and a half shaken Martinis out of five (PS - who stirs a bloody nmartini anyway?).

Quiz Time 4 - Shitty Xmas Gifts...

They say that it's the thought that counts when it comes to gift giving...BULLSHIT!

Honestly - the crappy gifts I have received over the years...I used to keep them in a drawer and bring them out and do a show and tell when I got pissed to guests...with (of course) mixed reaction...

If it's the thought that counts...put more thought in it...and it's not about shopping at Tiffany's or Gucci or spending a small fortune...

Buying a bunch of flowers or a good box of chocolates or a good book is much better than receiving a t-shirt with a photo of Aunty Cheryl and her cats...or satin boxers (eerrh!)...or(my worst) novelty gifts aka mobile phone accessories like a couch to rest your phone in...or sports underwater light/toenail clipper combination go everywhere thingies...

Anyhow I found a quiz which will predict what crappy gift you are ...apparently I'm socks...

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcrappychristmasgiftareyouquiz/

If you can't be bothered doing that - leave a comment and tell me the WORST gift you have ever received...

Pool & Pets don't mix...Part 2

Here is the new blow up pool to replace the one Rabbit punctured....and I quite like it regardless that it's a sporty theme pool...( it was better than the 'Looney Tune' theme or the pink 'Princess Pool' - however that one came in a close second)...
It came with 3 blow up balls and a score pad on it's base... I think it can be used without the water as a game...(God only knows why anyone would actually use a blow up pool without water)...
Given how sporty Andrew and I are - that particular feature will not be used...unless we use it as headrests and things to throw for the hell of it...maybe at Rabbit so the little fucker won't puncture this one...however if he does at least then the Princess Pool with matching turret slide will get a look in at Casa de la Riversdale...Andy will be pleased.

Spunk Alert 14: Tom Williams

Meet Tom Williams...the carpenter turned roving holiday reporter turned dancer...Yes this man is talented, funny, good with tools (a boon in ANY one's language) and a big spunk to boot...

Tom has been a bit quiet of late...hopefully this does not mean he is out of the spotlight completely...too many gay men and str8 women would be in mourning if he did!

PS - these below shots are from the 'Great Outdoors ' - its appears that Tom occasionally likes to get his kit off for a story...thank you Channel 7 for getting it SO right...

Melbourne Moment

Drinking time at 'Riverland' around 3pm Friday.

Pool and Pets don't mix...Part 1

Ahem...it's going to be 37 degrees today...so Andy and I get out the pool ( blow up of course) - and Rabbit the wonder cat has punctured it...

I think the cat only did it as it wasn't about him...

Now to go and embrace the shopping centre on a saturday no less (oh YAY) to buy a new one...

Melbourne Moment

So everyone loves the city they live in...and as Melbourne is my town I love it too...I first visited the city in the 80's which blew me away as a teenager...then I visited again in the 90's (twice)...then I moved here in 1997 and have lived here ever since...

I suppose what I love about it is the feel of the city and the surrounds...I find them welcoming...from the iconic Flinders Street Station (above) to Collins Street and all of the city lanes...they are familiar, old and new - all at once...

(Above -The old Melbourne GPO collanade)What still amazes me after ten years living in our fine city is that I still find 'hidden' arcades/ shops/bars or buildings or streets or other hidden gems which I swear i have never seen before...and they have been there since Hoddle laid his grid out on the Yarra...

I suppose that's what I define as a Melbourne moment...so to speak...

b.

OZ TV: Ratings ending

The one thing that annoys the shit out of me this time of year is that the TV shows that the networks trot out every summer as the ratings have finished...

Sometimes it's a good thing...apparantly Channel 7 has never had faith in 'Will & Grace' moving it about like a ping pong ball from time slot to time slot...the good news is that they are finally showing the final season over summer- and for those who have not seen it it's one of the best so far...plenty of guest stars and storylines finally wrap up!

However for every gem like 'Will & Grace'...7 always has about 10 crappy sitcoms like 'That's 70's Show' or 'hope & Faith' or they repeat the dead dogs like bloody 'M*A*S*H' ( can you believe it- why not show ' The Lucy Show' or worse still 'Hey Dad!")....Good news is that some of their US drama's shows like 'Boston Legal' will still play (if you watch those of course) and my fav - the NZ version of 'Border Security' - the drama last night was a Spanish pot smoker, an illegal worker in a Brothel and a man importing corn...'thus is madnuss' (quote from the show)... Bless Auntie (Channel 2), if you are ready for repeats this is your summer...From those Fountain Lakes hornhags 'Kath & Kim'...to 'Parkinson' ( on a tuesday night!) lots of Documentries on the Royals, environment and the such like...SBS is doing pretty much the same with their popular shows like'South Park', 'Myth Busters' and other non-english shows/documentries - All repeated over the summer/non ratings period so good if you missed them as you were watching something funnier/BB/another reality TV show on the commercial networks...

Channel 9 and 10 are possibly the worse this year... 9's ' The King of Queens' , 'Great Debate' (GROAN), '2 and a half men' ( Does ANYONE what that show) proves that the networks woes are not over ( Eddy - we love '20 to 1' but a network does not manage on 1 show let alone 'Debbie' Hutton yaking away about her knowledge of live's trivial moments....)10's 'Futurama' - (when will they realize 'The Simpsons' it aint!) 'Charmed' ( it's over people) or 'Veronica Mars' ( yes Jez you are the only person to watch it in OZ) - proves this network survives on the ' The Simpsons' and the reality TV shows genre...even in Summer they will pump out 'American Idol' and 'You think you can dance' a few times a week to appease the Hoi-polloi...

Jesus...'Vasili's garden Show' & 'Bent TV' on Channel 31 is looking good...

Xmas Party Fever - All nighter...

Well it's early Sunday morning and I have just awoken...and I'm reflecting on the last long 48 hours...
So it started Friday night at the Big Xmas Party for the whole company...(Andy didn't come this year as he came and left last year after an hour!) - At a pub/bar/club in Bourke St...The venue was alright yet it seemed a little small for the amount of people...I went over to Dermo's house first so we could arrive at the party at the same time so we wouldn't look like Norman No-mates...
The theme was Hollywood - and many dressed up - Liz Taylor, 40's screen sirens, miltary men (bless the gay boys), Lots of 007's (none of whom were as hot as Sean or Mr Craig) Bravehearts, Pimps, Pirates, Cowboys ( the gay's love a cowboy) and more starlets than the night sky (excuse the pun MGM)...

Needless to say as it was an open bar everyone became alcoholics for the night...I (somehow) switched to water around eleven so when I started to sober up for the rest of the party - it's always weird seeing everyone drunk and you're not - they seem quite revolting...

So then we headed out to 'Marrakesh' a little basement bar off Bank Place...and met up with some others...that was fun as we just lazed around on the sofa's and makeshift Turkish/Moroccan enspired surrounds and talked a lot of shit...and had a little dance...However we got kicked out around 3ish so we hunted down another venue...
Now let me tell you this...in Melbourne (CBD) there are a more bars/pubs/cocktail lounges and clubs than people can actually fill...unfortunately most close around 2-3 in the morning so hunting an all night place (in the CBD that is) is hard...as we staggered from bar to bar we were told to 'move on/members only/VIP night/etc' as it were...and they could afford to this time of year...so one of the group says 'lets go back to mine' so after waiting 30 minutes for 3 cabs we head off to richmond for recovery around 4ish...

Only problem is that his housemate was home - they have a fight about the noise etc and in 10 minutes we are all out on the street! Thankfully another offers their house in Albert Park - so another cab ride over to the Albert Park and another recovery starts...
Well the tunes are good and all is well until 6.30 when our host passed out so we organise ANOTHER cab ride (don't you wish cab rides earnt you frequent flyers) and B&D offer their home in Newport as 'Venue du Jour' to continue the fun...this goes to about 11 when the remainder of the party fall asleep ( bad form Brett!)

I wake up realise from the drool down my chin its about 5pm in the afternoon and I'm on someone elses couch...I wait for the hosts to wake and Dermo - the only other hanger-on to the party like myself( as the rest sensibly left in the early morning to go home) so we can share a cab to our side of the city...

I managed to get in at 7pm ( about the same time i left Friday night!) and find a note from Andy - he's done the washing/shopping (Bless) and has gone out to Doug's birthday drinks (oops forgot about that) so I have a shower, eat a thai curry and watch part of the 'COUNTDOWN' concert ( havent laughed like that for ages) and crash... Needless to say a bit sore and flat today..going back to bed for a bit... Good night though.

You Tube:PANTS OFF DANCE OFF

ok this show combines the concept of a 'dance off' with stripping - welcome to PANTS OFF DANCE OFF...enjoy

You Tube: Old Homosexual Warning Video

This is hilarious - This film made in the 1950's dealing with a perceived danger to society: Homosexuals! Of course the ironic thing is it's now camp (like the voice over!).

O'Christmas Tree... blah etc Part 2

You'll be pleased to know that the tree is finished!

Oh Lordy it's finished...a traditional tree with non-traditional colours (and we reused some other decorations from previous years - we're trying to build up a collection of dec's for years to come...)

As we have so many baubles and beads left over we decided to decorate the coffee table...overhead shot

...side shot...
...and the kitchen bench - I thought this one looks quite fabulous... Our cat (Rabbit) inspecting the new addition to the living roomWe love it all - now to buy presents!!!

Spunk Alert 13...Kelly Slater

Mr Kelly Slater...8 time world surf champion, model for Versace, best mates with Ben Harper, eligible bachelor having dated Pammie Anderson and Brazilian Supermodel Gisele Bundchen... and all round surfer spunk!

Now I grew up near the beach in Scarborough (WA)...and I could only boogie board as a kid...and that's bloody hard...and I tried it again a few years ago when we were away for the weekend down the Great Ocean Road - still bloody hard...

Best leave surfing to the professionals - they make it look so easy...Kel's riding the tube or it it hanging 10?I think hanging out down the beach for so many summers developed my love for the beach, and for surfers...especially when they look like Kelly (even though its a girls name!).

Quiz time 3...A drinkie poo-poo

As it's now the Silly season and more drunken nights than sober are upon us I found a nifty little quiz at

http://www.blogthings.com/whatmixeddrinkareyouquiz/

It tells you what drink you are...well it seems I'm an appletini...

"Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy. But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal. "

(Hmmmm that's debatable.)

I suppose could have been a fluffy duck, slippery nipple or worse sex on the beach - which would be ok if you didnt get sand in the (gl)ass.

Of course the really gay thing about this is that the appletini is my favourite cocktail!

Have a go and let me know what's your poison...

You Tube Spunk Alert: Hot Enough To Melt Ice

Ice-melting contest in the desert!

O'Christmas Tree...blah blah blah-dee Part 1

Every year Andrew & I make and create a new Christmas Tree...Two years ago it was blue & white and very stark...Below is last years creation...the theme was Gold, Silver & a bit of Shirley Bassey really ( or is that more Burley Chassie?) - we built the frame and everything!

This years is proving to be a bit trying...

We decided it was time to BUY a Christmas Tree so we could re-use it every year (Last years cost us over $300!) - we went to 5 different stores in 3 locations ( 2 of them twice due to stock difficulties) and FINALLY bought a tree...for $250.00 - a great savings on last year so far...And Chadstone Shopping Centre on a Saturday is about as much fun as having an enema with draino...

And what is with Christmas trees - it is impossible to find a plain good lush tree for want of looking...you can however buy:-

- Black tree
- White Tree
- Purple tree
- Pink Tree
- Fibre-bloody-Optic Tree(Didn't one electrocute someone in the states in the 70's?

And the piece de resistance...the upside down tree(I'm not making this up) - this is just plain stupid...

(The true meaning of Christmas - put your tree on it's head)

And then spent most of Saturday afternoon trying to thread all these baubles on string ( the idea was a big DNA molecule or at least similar to the Christmas trees in David Jones)- it took over an hour then it looked like shit so we had to take it apart...then we needed to buy more baubles and a new color (purple) and more shit for the bloody tree...and it's still not finished!!!

ARRRGH!

To be continued)

DVD Review: An audience with Kenneth Willams

Well Amazon has been faithful yet again...this time my beloved found this little DVD gem online ...'An audience with Kenneth Willams' is exactly that. In the early 1980's Kenneth Williams filmed what is essential a very funny monologue of his interesting working life on the stage/radio & film/tv - in front of many of his peers and celebrities of the day.

(The Carry on Team circa 1964)

Best known as the stuffy posh one with the funny voice from the 'Carry On' Team, Kenneth takes you through a journey of his career - starting out during the war in shows for the armed services with Stanley Baxter, on and off the stage with the likes of Tony Hancock, the endless radio shows then the Carry ons, & later him becoming an author.

What I really love about this DVD is the comfortable air he has when discussing his life, you want to listen to the next wonderful little story he's about to trot out - whether its about Noel Coward or Judy Garland or some crotchity old Army Officer - they are all funny and entertaining...
Ken with Carry on regular Joan Sims (who was also in the audience)

Kenneth Williams shows us in the DVD that he was not only a funny articulate man, he is a natural story teller. I like the fact he doesnt dwell on the Carry on years - he does tell us that they were a tight bunch and dear friends (he was very close to Hattie Jacques, as too Joan Sims) - Rather this DVD is a fantastic slice of his life & the many tales (and jokes) he's been a part of - its worth watching - even just for just for the Edith Evans voice and the story of his OC in the Army days.

4 funny voices out of five Matron!

Wait! The disco is not dead...The Freemason's are the saviours brothers and sisters...

So Disco is dead...so that's what my ears are telling me when I hear the hit parade nowadays (Yes - Freakazoid did close in 2001...and we all have been in mourning ever since...but I digress)...

However all is not lost...thanks to the Freemasons
Named after a pub in Brighton, UK, AKA Russell Small & James Wiltshire are the hottest thing since the sun in dance music. Russell was one half of Phats + Small (he has sold over 2.5 million singles worldwide) and has been a DJ for 15 years. James has worked in every major recording studio in London. Their first single - The Jackie Moore Sampling "Love On My Mind" in 2005 was fucking amazing...
These guys are soooooooo good - so good that they have actually turned down more remixes then they have produced...

The ones they have done have been with the like of Faith Evans, Fatboy Slim, Angie Stone, Jamiroquai, Blaze (Feat. Barbara Tucker - whom appeared at Freakazoid in 2000) which have been dance floor stompin' tunes...and then with their latest single with 'hold on to your hats,/seats/gloves' Miss Beyonce Knowles - Deja Vu - is yet another big dance anthem for 2006/7...let alone mixing it up with Mr Luther 'how much fur can a black man wear' Van Ross with 'Shine' -

These guys are touring and mixing it up more for 2007...I hope they are coming to Oz...Now to nail down Donna Summer in a recording studio with these guys and another thing on life's to do list will be complete...
Thank you Freemason's for not forgetting the disco...