It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Well its that time of year...and given our love for the Christmas (and especially the tree) it's all the go in the household...This year's theme is silver, pink & purple (yes I know... very masculine and butch for two men)...a slight variation on last years theme.The coffee table...
The front door wreath - this is a new addition to the Christmas Cast...and I think a permanent one.Detail (of course).
And now that the day is hastily approaching - we have been preparing the food - I have made a Christmas Cake...Andy is about to make the Chritsmas icecream (yes it's real-I'm not making it up) and has already made the ham....and a v.smart one at that...
And now to cook the turkey and wear our eating dresses and impersonate Sumo's for a few days...The truck from Dan Murphy's has already delivered the booze so if a war breaks out in the next few days we should be good until the New Year.

12 Daze of Christmas

For those who have never heard cabaret lounge singer Fay McKay singing the 12 DAZE of XMas - ENJOY!

Wigs for Pets

To continue with the theme and my love of dressing up animals - I found this site

http://www.kittywigs.com/

Yes you can buy wigs for your cat - for example this blonde bombshell creation

I especially like the description for the wig ( as if the wig and fern t-the cat model- doesn't just sell it to you anyway)....

Blonde is a magical mix of bashful and brazen. Fern shows off the many moods of a natural blonde: sweet yet catty, smart yet batty -- where life is alluring and coy. Now all she needs is a bikini and a Swedish accent.Blonde sets off your kitty’s eyes and makes your kitty look tan.

Great - now the cat wants to look tanned and wear a kini...when was this ok ? There are more cat hair do's & don'ts on the link

If you have anything related to dress up pets please let me know asap as i need another fix shortly. X b

Ps - All money raised goes to the ASPCA - again I'm not joking.

Cyanide and Happiness

Book Review: Land's End (a walk through Provincetown).

Michael Cunningham’s novel The hours was the connection of three women over different decades and how they manage with a day in their respective complex lives. It was well written and one of the few times that the film and the book were identical twins of one another. He writes in a style that is simple to read but it is not simple writing or subjects he is dealing with. Winning a Pulitzer prize is no simple feat.

In Land’s end, a non fiction work, his writing style is again apparent. He pieces together an array of stories, prose, history and his own experiences of Provincetown (or P town as it’s known – another example of simplification of a word - the laziness of today). The writer was blessed with being a ‘P town’ resident for more than just a summer on the cape (unlike most vistors there).

For those not in the know (or maybe I should say the ‘ho’) Provincetown is a gay (getaway) haven on the tip of the east coast of the USA. It’s a picturesque ex-fishing town full of salt box and cape cod cottages surrounded by the sea from all around as its at the end of a peninsula. Packed in summer and dead in winter, Michael literally writes about the town and its various incantations it takes on. Whether it is due to seasons, the remoteness, or just being the last stop at the (actual) end of the road this is not your average town.

Now the older I’m getting the more I want to know about the history. In this book some interesting facts emerge. For example the site of P town was actually where the pilgrims first landed before Plymouth Rock. However let me stress this to you that this book is not an historical record more so an overview of the town. Personally I would have liked to have read more of it's past but the author points out that it is merely another facet of the town uniqueness.

It is the accounts of the day to day running of the town that is the authors focus. From the A & P with gay cashiers (who double as drag queens at night) to the grand old town hall (the benches out the front used to be called the meat rack in the 70's), the old fishing wharf which was once the lifeblood of the town, the golden horde that is Marine Specialities (if you ever lost anything you’ll probably find it here) the ghost of art communes or simply the dunes, the sand and the sea, with all that interact with it.

It’s a lovely read with its never ending cast of its residents, or should I say all the driftwood that has managed to float in and out the bay itself, some staying more than a summer.

4 pilgrims out of 5

Thanks to the lovely Brigid lending me this copy.

Look what they done to my pet...ma

This has been troubling me for sometime. Pets dressed up like people.

Now I just want to make myself clear first...Dressing your pet up in clothes is a form of animal cruelty...however saying that... its one thing that make me laugh so much I wet myself. OK so its infantile but it looks so funny as its so ridiculous to dress up your cat/dog/ferret - and you can clearly see that the pet hates the whole moment - that dress up/make over scene from Pretty Woman it ain't.

The below are prime examples of the cruelty/hilarity
- here we see Fluffy is dressed as rag doll/Ginger Spice - probably the most sombre/prettiest Gerry has looked...

And here as the blue telly tubby...I think Fluffy is getting over it...The dog models don't seem to mind it as much...even when dressed as your favourite action heroes from Star Wars (Vader, Yoda & Leia) - the bodies clip on.
Back to Fluffy - now as duck - fluffy looking pretty pissed off and looks like she's about to attack her owner ( I especially like how the duck hides Fluffy ears)

Speaking of ears...Nothing says Easter like a cat in bunny ears ...

And finally - why not dress up Rex as Anne of Green Gables ...
IF you want more - click on the below link to a (very expensive) fashion & accessory site for your pet - my special category are the individual robes (more duck) & evening wear ( for making your pet sexy - however why is that needed is still a bit weird)

http://www.pamperedpetscatalog.com/index.html

Rabbit would scratch my eyes out even before I bought him an evening gown like the "Party Trim Tutu Dress"

http://sf2000.registeredsite.com/~user990875/miva/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=PPC&Product_Code=15CS-PWT&Category_Code=Apparel-Evening+Wear

You Tube:House of 1000 Muppets

What do you get when you cross the trailer of a horror film with the muppet movie? This is very clever.

All about EVE

Although we really don't celebrate Halloween in OZ I have always been intrigued by it - probably as you can dress up for it and no one would worry otherwise. Its also one of the few holidays the organised religion hasn't changed or lost or buried...

Maybe as "Halloween," has origins in the Catholic faith. Hallows Eve on November 1 also known as "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is for the honor of saints. In 5BC Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31st. The holiday was called Samhain (pronounced sow-in), meaning "end of summer" - the Celtic New year.

During Samhain, Druids (being druids) believed that the dead would play tricks on mankind and cause destruction and bedlam. Folk would give the Druids food as they visited their homes to appease the dead- Hence how the trick or treat thing started...

The Bobbing for Apples thing happened when Roman Empire took control of the Celts - The Romans were worshiping Pomona, the goddess of the harvest. Apples were the sacred fruit of the goddess, and many games involving them entered the Samhain customs.

Now why so many Jack-O-Lanterns - Irish children used to carve out them out so to light them for Halloween. They commemorated Jack, an Irish villain so wicked that neither God nor the Devil wanted him (apparently there is a waiting list for both). As he was rejected by both, he wandered the world endlessly looking for a place to rest, his only warmth a glittering candle in rotten veg.

Anyhoo I'm buying a large pack of lollies (candy) for any spook who may knock on our door for visit on Hallow's Eve...but I suspect it will only be a few drunks from the Riversdale pub or the crazy cat lady complaining my cat doesn't like to be petted. And he doesn't.

Cyanide and Happiness

10 Things I love about Spring

1. Footy season is over (thank the lordy).

2. Winter has ended.

3. The Sun is out far more often (Yes to the rest of OZ - Sunshine does occur in Melbourne - we are four seasons in one day rather than the gates of Hades).

4. New Season fashion for both sexes are always nice for a change from wool and coats and general winter attire.

5. Spring racing starts (though I am never a part of it - I like the fashions and the fact people are dressing up and taking sickies to go to the gee-gee's).

6. The social season is a buzz - even we get invites to everything that's happening.

7. We have had our first day of 25+ degrees since March.

8. My skin is no longer pale and white.

9. General mood of the city moves from quiet & grumpy to placid.

10. Summer is almost here - which includes Xmas New Year and holidays....

Lock it in Eddie...Im going for C) Spring.

You Tube: Manly wang dance

Ok so off the subject - Footy players just never learn about cameras in the change rooms - see background...

Road Trip Part 3: That's Capital

After a drunken Friday night...rather worst for wear we trekked about in our nations capital. Below is Mark, Me & Brig ( all hungover as hell so not a bad pic considering).Firstly off to Mt Ainsle to see the best view of Canberra. The vista from the War Memorial (down Anzac Parade) to Capital Hill (down Federation Mall). Very impressive.Canberra owes itself to Walter Burley Griffin who won the 1913 capital city competition. Although its quiet and only has a population of 300,000 - It's a very clean and pretty city (Opponents also say its lifeless and not a true indication of Australian Society - is it that bad to have an ideal for a country?)Canberra is based on several axises - The most prominent is the central government triangle & vista to the War Memorial - with avenues to the City (civic) and to the American-Australian War Monument (Russell).Above is the very Art Deco inspired War Memorial - quite lovely - Below is Parliament - quite impressive on the outside but a bit like a 80's Joan Collins inspired Mansion (WAY too much bright color and marble). At this point the party needed rest so the other monuments will need to be left for another trip.After a quiet evening (the weekend party was STILL recovering from Friday night) on Sunday we ventured to Floriade on the banks of the lake - It was very pretty however it contained a lot of the same rather than different displays of flowers and plants.

The below is for Doorsie - Do your Tulips ever look so good?

On top of the many bulb beds (too many I say) there was this amazing cane structure - I now want one (and a lawn to place it on!)There was also a few display marquees around too- mostly they were full of crap (a bit like the below example ) 'Beanie' Tent consisted of people who made beanies ( a hat for those NOT in the know) - the below is a breakfast beanie - complete with toast! Yes and this too was in the gallery - however we were laughing but at them not with them.After a few more flowers, then the glass works & markets - we all made way to the the pub for Sunday lunch...I actually got sun burnt it was that bright & sunny. After a playing a fabulous game - Articulate ( a bit like Pictionary with words) and a few too many wines, Andy and I cooked a Sunday roast to say thank you for our hosts Erin & Mark...then we woke up early for the LONG drive home.

We had a ball - gotta do another weekend away soon.

Road Trip Part 2 : On the road (again)...

Well the Road to Canberra turned out to be a lot of fun.
On the road by 7AM to avoid the rush...we managed to get out of Melbourne in no time...

(Out Of Melbourne and only another 550 kms to go!)

Andrew spent most of the trip driving (I only drove for an hour and he wanted to drive more as he got bored...bless).While the lovely Brigid kept us entertained with humorous Crazy Cousin Anne stories and a CD compilation EMI would be envious of.

At the moment the countryside between the capital and Melbourne is fabulous - Canola fields are a plenty and mountain ranges are lush and green. Amazing what a little rain does.As Albury-Wodonga was the half way point - we decided on to stop for lunch...it's a very pretty town on the Border of VIC & NSW on the Murray River.

Walking down the main Street (above is the main street of Albury) - we spied a little cafe - Q Food - which turned out to not only be the 'it' place in town - but it was a gay run cafe...in fact this town (small city really) has a loud & proud GLBTI community - Staff & the food were terrific.We left Albury soon after and got into Canberra by mid afternoon - not before spying this cunning place on words bead shop...they must have spent hours coming up with that.

(if you have any shops in this manner please email me!)

Next...Part 3 - That's Capital.

Road Trip Part 1: Ready...steady...

We are getting ready for a road trip this Friday.

Me, Andy and the lovely Brigid are heading off to our nations capital - Canberra - this weekend to visit and catch up with some friends who have moved there this year. And usually 7 hours in a car is as about as exciting as it sounds...but I'm really looking forward to it!

Not only do we get to hang out with friends but we get to soak up some national culture ( or as we say it in OZ - CULCHA)...we get to see the premiere flower and garden show of floriade, enjoy the wonders of Mr Burley Griffin's fine planned city such as the lake, Mt Ainslie Look out and the wide avenue and boulevards...visit Parliament house, the numerous galleries and museums....but get to visit the mega-porn supermarkets as well.

Yes only in OZ could the National Gallery share the same locality with Champions Mustang Ranch Porno store.

Now add in some drinks & disco & dancin' my weekend will be complete - and yes more than happy for the latter (as well as the former stuff to be honest) to be in someones living room!

You Tube:Possessed Demon Cat

I love cats...They are entertaining and a bit mental...however this one is not only scary but hilarious - sometimes the voices inside talk all at once...

Cyanide and Happiness

You Tube: Charlotte Church TV

Bless this taffy - this episode includes an audience surprise for a sexist bloke. V Funny.

Spunk Alert: Tom Ford

Presenting the talent Mr Ford...What can this man CAN'T DO?He is a creative genius...The below was from a fabulous fashion photo shoot - very Fellini-esq-inspired. He re invented Gucci...and YSL...and has his own label.

He has so much taste, style and savoir faire I can't stand it .And the man is a spunk. Period.

The Pregnant Pause

Life at the moment is rather quiet & neutral - It's a bit like rating a 7 on a PH Scale. Not that I'm complaining. I mean it's sort of nice for a change that it is rather quiet (hence my quieter blog entries of late). My life (and Andy's as well for that matter) are in that pregnant pause moment - that the end result is near (as opposed to the calm before the storm).

The end result? Many things really - buying the house for one thing - and given that interest rates have rose twice in the month and house prices are STILL increasing (appears that people from the west coast are coming here to buy investments - apparently Melbourne has cheap property compared to Perth!) we have decided to sit tight and save a bit more and see what happens - I know -very sensible and grown up.

My course assignments have been completed and (more to the point) I passed - but I wont graduate until November so to allow all the others to catch up with their work (so to show a high pass rate to management so they run & fund the course again.)

Holidays have been planned but are far far away - The big holiday in Thailand for Andy's 40th is in May... Perth is planned for 2008 too...I won't get Xmas off this year however many ex-Melbournians will be here visiting this year so that will be fun.

As Ms Hines would say don't get me wrong - These are not complaints - More than happy to sit tight with these plans and actions through to fruition...We are just in that quiet moment time before hand.

Best put the kettle on and enjoy it.

Melbourne Moment

Art on Degraves street, Thursday Morning.

Book Review: Michael Tolliver Lives

I was 19 when I first read the Tales of city series. For me it was like nothing I had ever read before. I loved all of the characters, and how their lives intertwined in such a lovely way. How they all were dancing to the same tune…just in different dance halls across the city. Almost a San Francisco symbiosis.

That was almost 15 years ago. When Eddy (http://tummyguts.blogspot.com/) recently recommended this book for me I became quite excited. As a huge fan of Tales of the city it was the first book in ages that I actually rushed out to purchase for my reading pleasure (ok after the last Harry Potter novel).

Armistead Maupin continues the city tales after a break of more than 20 years...this time only focusing on Mouse - Mr Michael Tolliver. He's 55 now and alive, living with HIV and still being a big queen – or in Mouse’s eyes – a big Nellie/Mary/Fag.

Unlike the other novels this book is only from his perspective. Yes other characters are there but not like before. I don’t know if Armistead changed his writing style in the post AIDS world or has purposely decided not to use the usual format of inter-related stories/lives/characters. To be honest I was actually surprised that he even wrote this novel after a 20 year break – I thought he would have left this all behind (whether he produced this from his own doing or it was a requirement in a contract I don’t know) but the edge that Tales once had is lost – I don’t think it’s to do with his writing however more so a reflection of society in 2007.

Still though it’s a fairly good read. I like the fact the some of the old characters come back in…even though a few more have been killed off. And I do like the overall comment Armistead has made about gay life, getting older and the world today from an old 1960's baby boomer radicals perspective. For me it still hasn’t answered entirely the question of what happened to ? the many colourful and rich characters he created. Rather it’s a commentary of how the remaining have survived in a very different post-9-11-Bush-for-president-world to when they met and became family.

Three and a half hearts out of five.

Cyanide & Happiness

Melbourne Moment

Outside of Australia-on-Collins, Collins Street, Sunday afternoon.

You Tube: Bargearse

Lucky Grills (Aka Bluey Aka BARGARSE) died this week - when the Lateshow did voiceovers this was one of my favourites

You Tube: Jan Terri - Losing You

Ever wanted to see WC Fields in Drag singing the worst song - let alone filmclip - it's grotesque yet so watchable

Frosty Jack...

I can't believe it - the top temperature was 9 and currently at 5PM its 7 with an overnight low of 6. And we can't get the house warm.

Andrew wants to burn the house as he feels that's the only way we are going to get warm ( electric heating you see) but we managed to get through that ( thankfully).

In fact our state is experiencing the coldest day in 20 years - snow in the country - sleet in the city and fucking freezing everywhere else. I saw on the news tonight that Darwin is experiencing 30 degrees - the only time I'm jealous of not living in NT...and I might add - the ONLY time....
So lately at night I have been in bed trying to get warm reading the fabulous book of Blackgama - "What makes a legend the most" - the old Fur campaigns of the 60's & 70's that the company ran. They used stars of the day such as Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland, Liza, Marlene Dietrich - lots of gay icons really - looking fabulous in fur....(PS - Jesus I'm such a fag)( Darlink - bwring me a mwirror - I don't have great legs - I just know what to do with them)

Fur was fabulous and very practical in this cold weather - OK so I know the whole murdering of animals isn't the nicest thing...however we kill cows & chicken and all sorts of animals for meat to eat - fur is just the skin...


Joanie Rivers after being attacked by PETA!
Hasn't this woman suffered enough from surgery???Anyhow Like Karl Lagerfeld - Ode to a fur coat - fuck PETA -

they need to experience this coldness snap.

Or stop being hypocrites and stop eating meat too!