Eurovision 2010...Post Script

Well its over for another year. And these schmucks [pictured] hosted the event! Well the girl on the right was actually good. The other one was mainly questionable and the Blondie twit in the middle really 'shared the moment' that he was a twit with a rather massive head. Too massive even for our wide screen TV.

But before you hear me become Rant Mcranty from Ranty town, the actual production and overall look of this years competition wasn't too bad. Especially the start [rather impressed with all the bubble graphics] and unlike previous host countries who use the night as a tourism promotion between songs this year, they simply used a shot of the capital of the country about to sing with the fans. A pleasant change from seeing landmarks, forests and [rather awful] beaches. But alas I digress.

Highlights included the gatecrasher who managed to dance while Spain was [rather dismal circus themed] singing, Serbia ugly bizarre song and singer, the pretty man from Israel [ song wasn't too bad seeing it was sung in Hebrew], Albania's surprise dance song [it was good - that was the surprise - and didn't sound like a song from Albania's hit musical 'Gypsy Olga and her magic Tractor'] and Romania delivering a great dance hit and finishing 3rd!

Yes my predictions were a bit crap there. Germany did win, but my other predictions finished in the top 10. And poor Iceland came 19th! It was a shock and dismay that Denmark came 5th [truly poor duet] and the less spoken about Turkey and Azerbaijan [ I had to spell that out 6 times] the better. The UK finished last. Shame Brits shame. Even Belarus beat you.

Aha but that is the Eurovision wheel of fortune! Or lack thereof you may say. Berlin next year and unlike this years rather good production from Norway, I am preying for a return for Eurovision from the past decades - complete with cheesy presenters telling poor jokes, shots of Hamburg looking dull and dancing girls on Mini Brandenburg gates with beer steins and lederhosens. Well I can prey. X b

Spoiler Alert...Eurovision 2010...The Winner

Well the odd underweight singer with the indy whine from Germany with 'Satellite' wins the 2010 Eurovision. The Favourite wins again...I finally see a pattern emerging. Watch her on the below link [if you want].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmOeISUYXuI

All the campery will be played out tonight on SBS and full review of the sharing the magic of the moment etc etc etc will be posted later.

X b

Eurovision 2010...The Grand final(ists)

So the semi's have been sung....they really did give there all [bless em] and now only the grand final remains...the lucky line up are as follows:-

01- Azerbaijan Safura Drip Drop
02- Spain Daniel Diges Algo Pequeñito
03- Norway Didrik Solli-Tangen My Heart Is Yours
04- Moldova Sunstroke Prjct & Olia Tira Run Away
05- Cyprus Jon Lilygreen&The Islanders Life Looks Better In Spring
06- Bosnia&Herzegovina Vukašin Brajić Thunder And Lightning
07- Belgium Tom Dice Me And My Guitar
08- Serbia Milan Stanković Ovo Je Balkan
09- Belarus 3+2 Butterflies
10- Ireland Niamh Kavanagh It's For You
11- Greece Giorgos Alkaios & Friends OPA
12- United Kingdom Josh That Sounds Good To Me
13- Georgia Sofia Nizharadze Shine
14- Turkey maNga We Could Be The Same
15- Albania Juliana Pasha It's All About You
16- Iceland Hera Björk Je Ne Sais Quoi
17- Ukraine Alyosha Sweet People
18- France Jessy Matador Allez Olla Olé
19- Romania Paula Seling & Ovi Playing With Fire
20- Russia Peter Nalitch & Friends Lost And Forgotten
21- Armenia Eva Rivas Apricot Stone
22- Germany Lena Satellite
23- Portugal Filipa Azevedo Há Dias Assim
24- Israel Harel Skaat Milim
25- Denmark Chanée & N'evergreen In A Moment Like This.

Poor Malta...I was suprised she was pipped at the post over [the Blonde haired ugly poofy from] Serbia but I digress. It is Eurovision after all...Olso must be wetting its panties over the grand final tonight [plus the fact its been how long since a grand final held in Western Europe].

So here are my top 5 predictions for Eurovision 2010

1- Germany Lena Satellite
2- Georgia Sofia Nizharadze Shine
3- Armenia Eva Rivas Apricot Stone
4- Greece Giorgos Alkaios & Friends OPA

5- Iceland Hera Björk Je Ne Sais Quoi

I dont like Apricot Stone and LOATH OPA however they have beern extremely popular with the Euro Folk. As much as I want Romania's playing with fire to end in the top 5 I dont think it will. But thankfully UK & Ireland wont either.

Oh well one more sleep and its over for another year...Andrew breathes a large sign of relief.

More Eurovision - Winner predictor gadget

Oh so unexpected by Big Brother...er Google - I just found this this nifty little tool for the 2010 Eurovision Winner predictor gadget - v.excited.

Currently listing as at 20th Of May:- ( oh yes links to clips on YouTube too dear reader - just click on the name of the singer since the bastards stopped the linking - still mad)

1 Germany - Lena - Saterlite - 354
2 Georgia - Sofia Nizharadze - Shine - 233
3 Malta - Thea Garrett - My Dream - 119
4 Poland - Marcin Mroziński - Legenda - 115
5 Sweden - Anna Bergendahl - This Is My Life -115
6 Romania - Paula Seling & Ovi - Playing With Fire - 96
7 France - Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole - 91
8 Greece - Giorgos Alkaios & Friends - OPA! - 89
9 Azerbaijan - Safura - Drip, Drop - 86
10 Estonia - Malcolm Lincoln - Siren - 71

Now lets break this down...

1 - As mentioned, Germany is gagging to win...since well the 1950's really and they take this SERIOUSLY. They would be very happy with this so far. [have Google shares gone up in Deutchland I vunder?]
2 - Good to see my pick Shine is number 2 ( I also predicted the no.2 last year so I'm sorry Georgia if I have already put the mockers on the competition).
3 - Malta's not bad - reminds me of an Olympic theme song mixed with a Bond theme.
4 - Poland - crap song but he's a cutie.
5 - Sweden, always good for a pop song.
6 - Also a favourite of mine and hoping that Romania, usually submitting usual crapola finishes in the top 5. Bless.
7 - Like a french Usher come Jamaican pretty man.
8 - Well Greece really OPA? Could they not come up with anything else (must be the economic crisis clearly affecting song titles as well as debt).
9 & 10 - well when your 9 & 10th its a bit like 90th and 100th really.

And you can also list the losers... Belgium, Lithuania & Switzerland so far [more usual suspects, well they have nice chocolate and views of the water].

And you get the predictor to your blog via Google search - too easy. Thanks BB...errr Google.

Eurovision 2010...need I say more

Well I thought it was time for a Eurovision Blog Entry. God knows I’m overdue. Still not over those You Tube bastards not allowing links to blogs but you can’t fight City hall. Especially when that City Hall is Google…but I digress.

Now I’m not sure if the sombre economic air of Europe has influenced this year’s contestants…but it’s not that crazy crap-tacular that you normally get. Sure old Eastern European entries are still a bit laughable [’ll get to that shortly] but overall its very contained and normal. Yes I’m aghast too dear reader. This year its very like a European ‘Idol’ – it’s ballads & serious pop. And everyone is so fucking young. No oldies (well only a few) – this is geared up for gen Y full stop this year. Haircuts & 80’s styling optional.

‘Share the moment’ is theme dujour in Oslo this year. I’m not sure who will be sharing the moment – well Italy, Austria, Hungary, Czech republic, Monaco & Luxembourg have decided not share anyhow and stay at home. Bully to you. However the rest of Europe will be sharing on the last weekend of May.

So my hot, not so hot, highlights & hits awards for 2010 are as follows:-

Don’t understand what your singing about award goes to Finland, Serbia, Spain & The Netherlands have decided to sing in their native tongue. Not really a good move in an international song contest when the language of Europe is…oh that’s right English. Not Finnish love. Never that.

Just got it wrong award goes to:- Russia, Serbia, Spain & Slovenia. Yes likely and repeat offenders here. Now Russia is singing in English but has decided to place their version of Simon & Garfunkel folk. Lovely. Serbia has an ugly poofy with the worst hydrogen peroxide blonde bob wearing a white Sgt Peppers jacket singing in Serbian. Goody. Spain decided to submit a Ginger singing a folky fairground tune. Marvellous. And finally Slovenia is a rock meets folk ditty wearing traditional costumes with a song similar to a car hitting a freight train. Enough! But real shame is that these are the only ones who really got it wrong this year. Shame and disappointment Europe. Shame and disappointment.

Lets hide a shit song with a pretty distraction award goes to:- Now Israel, Norway, Poland & UK have very very pretty lads this year. Israel is especially hot. But their songs are quite simply - Shit. Well there is definitely a career in gay porn for these handsome contestants post Oslo.

Now the highlights.

Estonia – Siren - this is a surprise as they usually lay a pretty ugly duckling – the song is very Paul McCartney in manner of ‘Wings’ and not too bad.

Georgia – Shine – now this one is one of my favourite – in ballad like style to Iceland entry last year with ‘ Is it true’ which came 2nd . Not bad for a former Soviet state.

Germany – Satellite – no this is not my cup of tea but it’s probably one of the most unique songs of the competition so it rates a mention. And Germany is gagging for a win.

Romania – Playing with fire – Again another surprise from a country usually famous for dictators and bad bad songs. I’m not sure how this is going to fare but the chorus is catchy and who doesn’t love a boy & girl pop duet.

Iceland – Je Ne Sais Quoi – Now this is one is my favourite of the competition. It’s your great euro trash dance song with even a French title of the Chorus – you’ll be hearing in this in any gay club in Europe this summer. Song by a rather large and not so pretty lass but a hit none the less.

Now for those in OZ dear SBS is broadcasting 'Countdown To Eurovision' specials on May 14th and May 21st at 4pm, including "The A to Z of Eurovision" – including the most memorable ( and not so memorable) moments of previous Eurovision. Now that’s the Eurovision of my youth I remember so well. Those were the days.

Needing more Eurovision - http://www.eurovision.tv/page/home

B52s LIVE: They came from Planet Clare

Melbourne has many old theatres. Most of these grand old dames have been revamped and rebuilt in the last few years. Their beauty restored but in this process they have lost some of their character. Some may say that it was that lived in look, so to speak. One still remains that has not had a spit and polish - still rusty, dusty and musty, like something out of an old movie. Given its age I’m not surprised if you see the ghost of Norma Desmond herself on any given night peering out of one of the towers balcony on Flinders Street haunting the corner below. The building is from a forgotten bygone era, the paint is cracked and its guarding gargoyles saddened by its faded glory. And its one of my favourites in town as it's still got 'it'.
Unlike its sisters in the trade which now stick to strictly musicals and the suchlike, The Forum still plays a variety of entertainers. Its forte are comedians [see Melbourne comedy festival] and live music. It’s not surprising that that band once described as the new wave kiddie rock punk band – The B52’s came to play. After the support act of the Proclaimers [Lady Norton - my date du jour - was pleased to hear them sing about their in-common hometown of Leith] the 30+ aged crowd was getting very excited by the headline act.

Now I have been an avid fan since the 80’s of this band and have been waiting to see them live since then. Yes it did start with Love shack [Even Rocklobster was before my time] but then I collected all their previous albums and listened to music that I never would have heard before [52 girls, Dance this mess around and Devil’s in my car to name a few]. My taste in music up to then consisted of Olivia Newton John, Bananarama and Wham [yes I way too gay beyond my years]. The success of the Cosmic thing album made them a worldwide household name. This after a long journey through tough gigs [The Mudd Club in NYC- the same era but the antithesis of Studio 54] music experimentation [Whammy & Mesopotamia to name a few], tragic loss [Cindy’s brother Ricky, the fifth band member sadly died of AIDS in the 80’s] and not to forgot all those god damn wigs.

So after donning three champers and a few pink frozen cocktails [aptly named Love shack] with the Lady Norton, the sound technician made his final checks and we are waiting for the countdown. Lights flash and Keith Strickland suddenly comes bounding out first. Now I have always fancied Keith – something about tall cute men. However I didn’t recognise him as Keith has decided to mix his look now into Goth & Marilyn Manson inspired- not what I remembered. Next was Fred Schneider - Fred did look like a very mad old homo and appeared not so happy to be there. But in fairness Fred was always the serious one and always looked like a mad old homo. But I was then nervous. Would Cindy Wilson just look like a Drag queen and Kate Pierson look like her mother - Goth like Keith and angry Fred troubled me so. Would they sound as good as I had heard so many years ago? Was their paint cracking ? Then the girls appeared, looking...so fine – sequins, feathers , 1960's frocks and those wigs – exactly what I thought they would look like. Good. No mothers of Drag Queens here. Good. Now breathe in and let them play.

They started singing. And they were...amazing. Fucking awesome actually.

Yes they are older [Jesus who isn’t] but their energy is still there. That very same energy they had when I heard them so many years ago in my teenage bedroom in Hamersley [so another story there but I digress]. And they played a variety of songs too [who doesn’t like a music buffet cooked up by their favourite band ?] Mesopotamia was earthy and rich while Private Idaho was punchy and exciting. Fred’s commanding lyrics in Strobe light made me shiver. Cindy singing Give me back my man ['Cindy Ill give you fish to sing that song again] and both of the girls blasting out Roam was so bloody fantastic it brought the house down. Lady Norton even managed to get us down to the front for the encore - Planet Clare & Rocklobster no less. So I did manage to Dance this mess around...and do all 16 dances.

They still got 'it'. I hear that even Norma was seen in the tower shimmying in a Lurex gown that night.

Eurovision 2009 - Postscript

Well its over for another year - and in reflection it has been quieter than years gone by.

Sure there was Ukraine drumming away when singing and dancing with half naked centurions...Fire throwers when Finland was rappin'...Germany kissin' and a bangin' with Guest act Ditte Von Teese...all very Eurotrash and lovin' it. But Moldova, Norway and Azerbaijan going back to folky past [obviously working in Norway's favour]was the surprise. I think all the crazy's get the boot in the semi's...so needless to say I'll be placing on emphasis on that for 2010.

Israel, Iceland, France, UK and Malta all delivered Divas Du Jour of the competition - Sweden's Pop-pera star seemed to be dulled down after her performance from her original in her home country and no opera face to be seen.

The men didn't fair as well as the ladies I'm afraid - Greece was just playing to the gays as was Germany [too plastic fantastic for my liking], Denmark was just too Rowan Keating looki-and-soundy-likey [already covered in previous post ]and the Croatian lad was hot but again sang in Croatian that no one understands other than the locals.

But not all bad -The set was truly amazing - though I would have to be the one in trouble if the turning electronic show didn't work - I suppose Dress rehearsal is for that sort of thing - shame the presenters needed to practice their lines/sketches they add so willingly that no one really wants?

Eurovision 2009 is over for Russia and Moscow- Oslo Next year!

The winner is...Norway!

Well I managed to watch bleary eyed just the last 10 minutes via web stream from the official site [is it just me but I'm still impressed that the net offers such a service? But try to get a postage stamp without fuss from the Post office - I digress slavishly] and Norway - the favourite - won!

I think what I am more impressed about this morning is that my top 3 predictions of Norway [1st], Iceland [2nd] & Turkey [4th] were pretty much correct - the only one I missed out was Azerbaijan who came 3rd - which to me sounded like Turkey from 5 years ago but obviously was right on the night. I told you the voting was fickle!

I will be watching tonight on SBS at 7:30pm - expect a silly, sardonic, sarcastic and sensationalist post script by tomorrow.

Eurovision 2009 - The second semi...

Well yet another fabulous Russian TV telethon production for the 2nd final, [highlights included the giant babushka doll - bless - and the Russian Ballet at interval - Russia can definitely take the ballet as one of their monumental artistic achievements but I digress]- and the results are in for the final...

The 25 songs participating in the Grand Final are the following:

1. Lithuania: Sasha Son will sing Love

2. Israel: Noa & Mira Awad will sing There Must Be Another Way

3. France: Patricia Kaas will sing Et S'il Fallait Le Faire

4. Sweden: Malena Ernman will sing La Voix

5. Croatia: Igor Cukrov feat. Andrea will sing Lijepa Tena

6. Portugal: Flor-De-Lis will sing Todas As Ruas Do Amor

7. Iceland: Yohanna will sing Is It True

8. Greece: Sakis Rouvas will sing This Is Our Night

9. Armenia: Inga & Anush will sing Jan Jan

10. Russia: Anastasia Prikhodko will sing Mamo

11. Azerbaijan: AySel & Arash will sing Always

12. Bosnia and Herzegovina: Regina will sing Bistra Voda

13. Moldova: Nelly Ciobanu will sing Hora Din Moldova

14. Malta: Chiara will sing What If We

15. Estonia: Urban Symphony will sing Rändajad

16. Denmark: Brinck will sing Believe Again

17. Germany: Alex Swings Oscar Sings will sing Miss Kiss Kiss Bang

18. Turkey: Hadise will sing Düm Tek Tek

19. Albania: Kejsi Tola will sing Carry Me in Your Dreams

20. Norway: Alexander Rybak will sing Fairytale

21. Ukraine: Svetlana Loboda will sing Be My Valentine! (Anti-Crisis Girl)

22. Romania: Elena will sing The Balkan Girls

23. United Kingdom: Jade Ewen will sing It's My Time

24. Finland: Waldo's People will sing Lose Control

25. Spain: Soraya will sing La Noche Es Para Mi

Boo Hiss boo for not allowing the gay disco track from Hungary in [although in reality I'm not surprised]...however very happy that the fro from Serbia didn't get a mention let alone those pack of sado's from the Netherlands [I mean really, silver lyrca suits!]

A surprise finalist here is the very ethic polka from Moldova [truely shite]... Mr Kiss Kiss Bang-i-ty nonsense got in too...as did the dark horse 'Believe again' from Denmark - interesting to note the most looki-likey in the whole competition - sounds and looks like Rowan Keating...and the song was written by...you guessed it...Rowan Keating. In a world first...well in my blog anyway I am predicting the top 3 of the grand final will include Norway with Fairytale, Turkey with Dum Tek Tek & Iceland Is It True.

Only a short time now and the winner of Eurovision 2009 will be announced...I have already planned evening in no less.

Eurovision 2009 - the first out of the hat...

Well the first final hit Europe last night...and, well all I can describe it as a Russian Telethon meets Big brother elimination show from the 80's ( if it wasn't so communist then mind you ) and kudos to the presenters with their Russian-English speech - a real tribute to Good morning Moscow sketch from Fast Forward ( for those from OZ who can remember ].

The 1st group of finalists are:-
Turkey
Sweden
Israel
Portugal
Malta
Finland
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Romania
Armenia
Iceland

Actually not a bad selection so far...the losers included the idiot Gypsy superhero from the Czech republic missed out (boo hoo) as did Bulgaria [or as I would like to say - Vulgaria after this years performance] neither did the Copycat Elvis from Belgium or the pseudo weird 70's pop singer from Belarus [so awful i can't describe].

However the only actual rock band Lovebugs from Switzerland didn't cut the mustard either...so is fickle word of Eurovision voting [lest we forget 1969 with 4 equal winners!]...another final to go then the big one this weekend...and it's only going to be that much more crap-tac-ular!

Eurovision 2009

Well I'm back [from holidays] and so is Eurovision.

Ahh Eurovision - this is one of my many crap-tack-ular highlights of the year - never failing to please. Now I started to think that as this year it is held in Russia that all the old Balkan/East Bloc countries will just sing in Russian out of habit [or possibly fear of the old days] - I'm glad to say that's not the case. And whether the economic crisis is hitting the contest, or just tastes are changing [assuming you had taste to begin with] this year flavour has changed...to more subdued. Well for Eurovision it is.

Now there are still the pop songs and future [gay] dance floor hits - thanks to Finland, Greece & Montenegro [with the original lyric of Just get out of my head, just get out of my bed then repeat - Lennon would be envious !] - but this year there is definitely folky/slow and dramatic being theme dujour highlight. France, after entering the Charles Manson look alike DJ with his cutting edge song in '08 has gone for a dramatic SLOW love song in manner of Edith Piaff...Norway goes with 'Fairy tale' waltzy folk complete with a violinist singer...and there is a semi operetta from Sweden.

For me, however this year is all about looki-likeys or I should say ' Soundseelikey'. Germany offers its own Crooner [in manner of Michael Buble] with Miss Kiss Kiss Bang [ not of course too dissimilar to Dionne Warwick's MR kiss kiss bang bang but I digress] Switzerland gives its own version of the Coldplay [I didn't know they got franchised] A Danish back street boys, A Jimmy Sommerville like castrato from Bulgaria [thankfully sung in English] and Andorra offers it's Natalie Imbruglia [yes dear readers I had to google her to write her name correctly] - just to name a few.

I will [of course] be posting clips of the favourites before the big night in May.

Let Eurovision 2009 Begin! [Offical site belowif you need a bigger fix]

http://www.eurovision.tv/page/moscow2009

Eurovision 2008 - postscript

OK so I need just to wrap it up after watching the show on Sunday night - and yes I was tough on Eurovision - and maybe because it's an easy target. So be it. As much as I give it shit it's still very fabulous in that camp trashy way that only the Europeans do so well.

Great news about the shortened voting - no more extended French lessons with' L'Italie 2 points' and the suchlike. Only the 8,10 & 12 points are announced - it reduced it to a 3 hours show instead of an 24 hour telethon. V.good.

A bit pissed off Russia won - only as it was a shit song. I suppose that is a matter of taste. Or maybe lack there of. A bit like the humor of the euro trash presenters.

The pirates got in the finals (Bless), the turkey puppet from Ireland didn't (good). What was with the bloody washerwoman/brides from Bosnia & Herzegovina and the old man in white who spoke throughout the whole song from Croatia - in Croatian! How the fuck I missed those mentals! And the worst thing is I'm probably related him!

OK so in summary my favorites was the woman with the divine makeup from Sweden (previously winner in 1999) - Great dance song -(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNHhjLzO5Sk) and the fabulous Page 3 chick from Ukraine - yet another ace dance hit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4FxGF-171Y) - she came second!

Overall it was good year of Eurovision. If good years involve all the a fore mentioned. I can only imagine the glamorous horror pic of next years in Moscow...ooooh those Russians.

Eurovision 2008 - Part 1

Lordy I almost forgot it's that time again - The world shudders when Europe sings! And this year it's just as crappy,trashy, glitzy and over the top pop/house/folk and other nonsense that makes Eurovision so...so bad.

And this years, in the words of Mel Brooks - vhat a shidinker! - 3 fat 70's sexist comedians now turned singers from Estonia, A girl with what looks like makeup by Divine from Sweden, a girly looking poofy from Iceland, A Spice Girls cover band from Germany, A Turkish sounding song from Holland (whatever happened to Tulips from Amsterdam ?) A page three girl from Ukraine and finally Pirates (yes Pirates - I'm not making this up) from Latvia- Bless eastern Europe for trotting these souls out. Maybe the Iron Curtain wasn't such a bad thing?

I will be posting just a selection of entries to peruse, laugh and wonder at. The date to countdown is the 24th of May - or the 25th in OZ (the Sunday) - so we will be back in time from our holiday to watch the marvel car crashing grotesque wonder that is Eurovision!! Hopefully SBS will be screening the version voiced by with the ever witty & sardonic Terry Wogan (can you believe people complain in OZ about him?). Can't wait.